Lessons I Have Learned As a Father

3 John 4
⁴I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth.

Ephesians 6:4
⁴And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.

These scriptures depict the sentiments of a father and capture the essence of fatherly love.  God uses fatherhood to shape us, to mold us. Being a father is demanding but also rewarding.

“God doesn’t just use me to shape my son, but He uses my son to shape me.” – Pastor Billy Johnson

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There Is No Substitute for Being Present

Proverbs 4:1
¹Hear, my children, the instruction of a father, and give attention to know understanding;

 To hear the instruction of a father, you must be in the presence of a father. Consistent and present time with resilience and love provides a priceless influence made by the father.

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Prioritize Development Over Comfort

Proverbs 22:6
Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.

We must understand we are to assign appropriate responsibilities that set a purpose for training up and developing our children.  In making things more comfortable, we may deprive them of true development, and lessons to be learned.

 

 Impart Godly Values Over Giving Material Possessions

Proverbs 15:16
Better a little with the fear of the Lord than great wealth with turmoil.

Fathers should be teaching and modeling priorities, imparting Godly values, and modeling delayed gratification.

 

“What you build in them matters more than what you buy for them.” – Pastor Billy Johnson.

 

 Words of Affirmation Are Just as Important as Words of Correction

Proverbs 18:21
Death and life are in the power of the tongue.

 Hebrews 12:6
The Lord disciplines those He loves.

 Give words of affirmation as well as words of correction.  Before Jesus performed one miracle, God already affirmed His value and affirmed who He was.  Affirmation builds identity. Correction guides direction. When you affirm someone, you declare their value and affirm what they bring to the table.

“Discipline without affirmation, leads to rebellion. Affirmation without correction, leads to entitlement.” – Pastor Billy Johnson.

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Build a Healthy, Honest Relationship in Every Stage of Life

Colossians 3:21
Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.

A healthy relationship can be built at every stage, and at every age.  Guiding them as toddlers, hearing them as adolescents, and learning how to identify and relate to our children as adults, and blessing their lives as adults.

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Don’t Just Talk—Listen

James 1:19
 Let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger.

Proverbs 18:15
The heart of the discerning acquires knowledge, for the ears of the wise seek it out.

Listening earns you the right to be heard, and we should also listen to understand.  We must remember that it is an honor to be allowed to help shape our children in a way that they may glorify God and fulfill His purpose.